Number 1: The Fear of Being Investigated
A worker must visit your house and verify living conditions. Lets be honest..Who likes to have someone nosing through their stuff? NOBODY! This may tempt you to feel violated and judged at first but I assure you this is not as in depth as it may sound. The standard unfortunately is very low for acceptance so if you’re the type of person that notices when the house needs to be dusted, I assure you there is nothing to worry about.
Number 2: The Fear of the Unknown
When taking a foster child in, they often come with an incomplete or misrepresentating referral of who they truly are. All workers try their best to pass along important information but the truth is all information is incomplete and comprise of very few perceptions. Foster children come with emotional pain and trauma that cannot be seen ahead of time. They will need security and connection at first. Do not see the unknown as something to fear but rather a true identity to uncover. Consider yourself a treasure hunter and begin to pull out the often overshadowed good that the child possesses. Be aware of what every referral says and take precaution if necessary but be open to the possibility that things are incomplete. Enjoy getting to know the young person for yourself.
Number 3: The Fear of Attachment
This has been a serious problem for many foster parents who don’t seem to feel ok with the idea of having to let go of the children they take into their homes. Foster care can last a week, it can last a month and it can last years, but unlike adoption, it could end any given day and this is something that you need to understand and deal with even before you decide to become a foster parent. While this may be true it’s important to know that no matter the time spent together, your effects can last a lifetime. Even if you simply made them feel loved, I assure you, no spiritual effort is ever wasted.
Number 4: The Fear of Conflict Between Biological Children and Foster Children
If you have kids of your own, but you feel the need to become a foster parent you might be worried that there will be problems between your children and a foster child. There will be an adjustment period as when making any life altering change. I encourage you to give it some time. Encourage inclusion and give your children a chance to soak it in. Make your children feel as though they are a part of something far greater than themselves.
Number 5: The Fear of Making a Difference
Am I truly helping this young person? This is the question that will run through your mind when things aren’t going so well. There will be difficult times and there will be good times that you will share, just like with biological children. It’s important to know that having just one significant connection in a foster child’s life will significantly improve their chances of success. Just one person can create the support needed to make the child feel they can overcome all of life’s obstacles and refrain from wallowing in self-pity. You can be that hope. You can be a child’s answer in a world full of problems.